A Long Kiss Goodnight
by Katherine NotGreat
Summary: Inspired by "The thimble" by SnapeSeraphin and "Peter Pan in Scarlet". AU, as it goes. Wendy's POV as she stays with dying Ravello aka Captain Hook - the scene near the end of the above-mentioned novel.
1. Confessions of a broken heart

**A long Kiss Good-night.**

A/N : I wrote this under impression of "The Thimble" by SnapeSeraphin. Yeah, I am aware that Peter/Wendy fans are probably going to throw rotten tomatoes on me but I don't care  It is an AU, as a matter of fac… Dear SnapeSeraphin, you'd perhaps be disappointed at how the things turned out, but I've always been the one for drama and tragedy (and spirituals, too, of course )

_So I'm still under the spell of "Peter Pan in Scarlet", and the scene between Captain Hook and Wendy that takes place near the end of the novel still makes me weep ___

Part One: Confessions of a broken heart

"…_Dreams of a future never found_

_Memories of the past still sweet.."_

_L. M. Alcott, "Little Women" part 2_

Though it was breaking my heart to do it, but soon after giving you my hidden kiss I had to leave Neverland for London.

So back I went and took away my feelings with me.

You see, I had to grow up, as the story goes. And no one possibly can grow up in that realm of eternal childhood which is Neverland.

You'd have been proud of me, as I proved to be one of the kind that likes to grow up.

I really had to. For at the time we shared our kiss I was still too young for such things as "lovering", as my brothers call it. That's probably why I grew up of my free will a day quicker than the other girls…

Yes, darling. As Sir J.M. Barrie pointed out, _all children grow up. Except one._

Which is my best childhood friend and your arch-nemesis.

I don't wish to deny that I _did _dream of him at first, willing to see him once again near our nursery window.

But my hidden kiss belonged to you, not to him. So after a while I realized that childish games were over.

I was still waiting near the window in the twilight. But not for Peter anymore.

My secret wish was to see again a man who took away my hidden kiss. Not only to look into those eyes that had entranced me once, but to stay with that man forever.

Though "forever" _is _an awfully long time, I was not afraid of it.

But the years went by, one season followed another, and still you didn't come.

Neither did _he._

Perhaps you both were too busy battling one another to remember other things…

For Peter I had no illusions – he _never went about with grown-ups – _and I was already more than twenty years of age.

As for you…perhaps, you just forgot all about that thimble incident? After all, one cannot afford to have long-lasting memories in Neverland…

I cherished my hopes until I couldn't afford to do it any longer. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person cannot be a part of society and ignore what society demands of him. Or her.

First I felt angry, than cheated and depressed, and finally, disappointed.

So I got married in a white dress with a pink sash. Till the vows were made I hoped you'd appear in the church and forbid the banns.

However, you never came.

Neither did Peter, as a matter of fact…

From that moment on I realized there would be no such things as "happily ever after" for me. Now there was Another. In. Your. Place.

How could I possibly find out that at that very time you lost your final battle and was irrevocably _old, alone and done for?_

Just like me….

Now you are looking into my eyes and your gaze is dimmed, and I am not sure whether you recognize me at all… Either that girlish frame I adopted in order to get back here, or the grown-up woman in disguise who I really am….

Oh, but were it not for those horrid dreams of Neverland that disturbed my mind (as well as that of the Old Boys)while I was in England; those dreams leaking out of Neverland, I would have never returned. I would continue my usual lifestyle in my neat house in Cadogan Square, filling my days with taking care of my daughter Jane and my husband James (yes, love, he does have your name, if nothing else of yours !), with grocery bills and washdays, committee work and sewing, appointments at the dentist and putting the bin out on Tuesdays…

Now I am kneeling down beside you, who lay like a hank of dead mermaid's hair on the shore of a poisoned lagoon, and I feel impotent and incapable of helping you this time.

But one thing I know for sure - you will not die alone and unloved.

For someone who still loves you is now at your side….

A/N_ If Lord lets me live, the 2__nd__ chapter will follow which is to be called "In the Valley of the Shadow of Death". Be warned ___


	2. In the Valley of the Shadow of Death

Part 2 In the Valley of the Shadow of Death

"…Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me…" (Psalm 22)

_**If time really stood still in Neverland, then nothing at all would happen.**_ But tonight something _is _happening, - _**things happen all the time in Neverland; some are wonderful, and some are utterly deadly…**_

With a heavy heart I am contemplating your lacerated frame. No one but myself, of all people, dared to come near the unraveled man lying still on the ground. So it is I who finally go ad crouch down by your side.

What can I possibly do? I had sewn potholders, traycloths and aprons. I had once even sewn a certain boy's shadow back on when it came adrift. But – alas!- my power of needlework doesn't stretch to this particular piece of mending…

"_Are you dying, ?" _I ask you in a cracked voice.

"_I fear, lady, that I am…__** undone, **__yes…" _you say as if tosomeone you see for the first time in your life. A stranger…

**He doesn't hear you.**

**He doesn't see you.**

**He has completely forgotten you.**

I shake my head to make silent the tiny wicked voices.

"Thank you for rescuing my animals" – there is now a touch of care in your voice.

Tears fill my eyes, as I look down at a shipwreck of a man that had been for many years at the forefront of my thoughts.

"_It was a little bit our fault they got squashed", _I answer hastily, just in order to avoid the murderous silence around us. Then I steal one more glance at your much-cherished Eton treasure - the goal of our quest, a treasure that had been the cause of so much tribultations All in vain, however. Once it had been discovered, it was evident Peter didn't need it at all – he never cared for grown-up possessions. But I do realize what value it has for you . How precious they are – these reminders of another life in another world. The **real **world.

Perhaps, it's now all you have got from outside of this Point of No Return.

So I stack those trophies and cups in a shining silver pyramid, where you can see them as you die.

"_Some of these got rather bent, I'm afraid." _I apologize.

"_Their worth is not in their condition, madam". _Your eyes rest on them with ineffable joy. _" You know…I may still return them if ever I am invited back to address the School on Speech Day"_

Oh, but I _do_ know what does the old School, whose traditions still cling to you like garments, means for you.

So much, that even during your final moments you are speaking of it in a way a devoted son speaks of his mother.

I smile as I remember someone saying you were a great Etonian, but not a good one. In my humble opinion, on the contrary, you were a good Etonian, though perhaps not a great one.

"_That would be a very interesting Speech Day, ," _I say encouragingly.

"_Hook! My name is Hook, madam. Captain James Hook"_

Trying not to show how painful it is for me not to be recognized until now, I make a curtsey.

"Wendy Moira Angela Scott at your service, _sir"_

Something like a shadow of recognition passes over his face. There is a longing in your dimmed eyes, tinged with profound melancholy.

Can it really be that you are beginning to remember me now?

"_Sleep is a great healer, you know? _I am feeling uncomfortable. "_You should sleep"_

For a second your eyes flash bitter resentment. "_Madam, I have not slept for twenty years. Not since the crocodile!"_

May be I am quite foolish, but still…_"I expect that's because you haven't had anyone to kiss you goodnight – not since the crocodile, anyway"_

A shudder goes through your body. It writhes like an old fishing net caught in a rising tide.

Perhaps the events of that fateful night are now emerging from the backgrounds of your mind?

Your voice is weak, but there is no mistaking the strength of your feelings.

"_Madam, I have __**never **__had anyone kiss me goodnight! Mine was not that breed of a mother In any case, it would be vulgar and namby-pamby and sentimental and…and not quite __**manly"**_

A faint smile appears on my wet face.

"_But worth a try?" _I nod and gently stroke your hand.

"_But worth a try", _you finally concede.

So I bent and one more time, after all these years, whisper the words I once uttered :

"One must never underestimate the power of a thimble…"

And then I give you the kiss. The kiss that had been waiting its turn for eternity. This kiss is filled with girlish dreams, and fears, and shuttered illusions, and bitter disappointment,- all those emotions that had been long ago shut in the most distant drawer of my heart – but also with more mature feminine feelings, - hope, and compassion, and love that never ends, as the Gospel says.

For a moment the Time stops in Neverland and the waters cease to flow.

Alas! Only for a moment!

I do love you, James Hook, and I always shall.

But the pas cannot be brought back.

I am not a girl any longer, and, therefore, no longer _gay and innocent and heartless._

I am aware that far away from here, at home in London, my family is waiting patiently for their mother, wife and sister to come back.

I am sorry, my love . I cannot betray their trust in me. Even for your sake.

So I get up, still uncertain in regaining composure, and cover you carefully over with your old frock coat.

Your unforgettable pale forget-me-nots tinged with melancholy and longing give me a look of understanding before disappearing behind the dark long lashes.

"_Goodnight, James", _I say in my most motherly voice. "_Sweet dreams"._

Reluctantly I turn away to leave, knowing that Death would be along shortly to cradle you in gentle and forgiving arms.

Behind my back I suddenly hear a faint whisper which is, however, heard all over Neverland:

"Lord, remember me when you come into Your kindom"

And I am certain He _will _remember.

**THE REST IS SILENCE ©**


End file.
